Jan 29, 09

My mother died on December 5th, 2008 at 9:45am local time with my sister and myself kneeling by her bedside.

Since then I have been stressed, depressed, and lonely. I didn't give a shit about how I acted and let past resentment shine through to others. I've been fighting depression on and off, severely for the last few weeks. My health has gone to shit; I have high blood pressure and no immune system. I was sick for a week; three days of which I couldn't talk or swallow due to tonsillitis. I could fight an entire third world country's bacterial infections with the amount of antibiotics in my blood at the moment.

I have not done anything productive for months. If it weren't for the fact that I had to go to school to keep my health insurance, I would not be going to school; I would not get out of bed in the morning. I took on 12 credits; dropping from a planned 18. I can not graduate when I planned; I don't care if or when I graduate any longer.

This is simply an explanation for my absence. I wish to do much; I don't care to do anything. It is easier to do nothing.

This is my life.